Stand Up

Stand up, stand up for Jesus...These are the words to a Christian Hymn that we are taught as young ones. But what do these words really mean?

We, as humans, have the right to stand up for what we believe in. We have the right to stand up for what we deserve We have the right to stand up for our faith. We have the right to stand up for equal opportunities.

The most important thing that we have the right to stand up for is our God. Without God, we wouldn't be here. So why wouldn't we "Stand up for Jesus"???

As a young woman of faith who attends a public university, I have been faced with people who do not believe in God or who demoralize the Catholic faith.

I have had people tell me "you're a Catholic, and I'm a Christian, therefore we don't believe in the same things"....but wait, when it comes down to the bottom line, we both believe in the exact same thing: an amazing God who created this world and everything in and on it.

So yes, the churches that we belong to have different rules...but remember the common thing: GOD!

Almost every single day, I am reminded of how fortunate I am to have been raised in a family where faith was important. We went to church every weekend, and for a long time, we sat in the same pew with my Grandparents. You didn't get to play with toys or eat snacks-you sat there and paid attention and read your Catholic books about prayers/mass/confession or else you would get a dirty look from Grandpa. Oh, and there was no going to the bathroom..if you had to go, you went after communion when you were returning to your seat. Those were the rules, and you followed them.

In high school, my family also attended the Salvation Army.  Playing in the brass band and being involved in the Salvation Army helped me to understand that we all have different beliefs...but that the common theme is our amazing God. I made some of my closest friends in this time, and was challenged to grow even more in my faith because I was surrounded by people who had an unconditional love for him.

Having attended private school for K-12, I was never really faced with people challenging my faith until I went to college. While I am lucky to have few stories to tell about people challenging my faith, it has still happened. But every time that it has happened, it has helped me to grow even more in my faith and to develop my relationship with Him even more.

Whether you believe in God or not, I respect that. And even though it is hard to accept sometimes, we, as humans, have to remember that we all have our own thoughts, beliefs, morals, etc.  We have to remember that even if someone doesn't have the same beliefs as us, we must still show respect to them..because like the golden rule says: treat others as you want to be treated.

So always remember that we live in an ever-changing world where we are faced with hardships every single day.  We will be faced with people who do not agree with us in one-way or another day-in and day-out. Respect others and their beliefs. Treat others as you want to be treated. Show love and compassion the same way that you want to receive love and compassion. Show support to those in need, lend a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on, and most importantly, help others to believe in whatever they choose to believe in, so that they may find the same sense of comfort and belonging that you have.

The Chair in the Corner

When I was younger, we remodeled our kitchen. We, and by we-I really mean my parents, bought this nice dining room table from Harvey's that can fit up to eight people.  But since there were only four of us, we kept the table set for six..so those two extra chairs got put in the corners of the dining room.  The one chair was next to 'my spot' at the table...and everyone knew it was my place because I insisted on having a seat cushion on the chair...

But that chair in the corner right next to my place became 'my corner'...it became the place where everything got put..when I came home from a long day of band followed by school followed by cross country practice, ALL of my bags went there..the trumpet case, the ginormous book bag that was bigger than me, and of course the smelly cross country bag.

The chair would be full of papers and important things...when I couldn't find something, the best place to look was on the chair.  There were times when the chair was filled with all of the brochures that colleges send you in the mail...and there were times when it was filled with all of my trumpet music when I came home from a lesson.

After going off to college, my chair slowly creeped in to the corner while the chair without the cushion made its way to the table instead..but one thing stayed the same..not matter which chair was in the corner, it became a place for all of my stuff.

Today as I came home from running a few errands, I sat down for a moment in 'my chair' that is now in the corner of the dining room...and I suddenly realized how important this silly chair and seat cushion are to me. It's the place where I was sitting when my parents and I would have intense conversations about different topics during family dinners.  It's the place where I sat when my parents and I discussed my plans for the future.  It's the place where I did my homework..but most importantly, it is a reminder that so many positive things can happen around the dinner table when a family makes an effort to eat together.

As I get ready for another semester of school, I am feeling lucky to have my wonderful parents and sister in my life...and I am so grateful for all of those family dinners around the dinner table when I was able to sit in 'my chair.'

"I Did What It Took To Get By"

As I went to write a blog post last night to express some thoughts that have been on my mind lately, I found a blog post that I started to write a year ago. The funny/weird/coincidental thing is that these are some of the same thoughts that I have been having lately.

The following is what I had written a year ago:

"Sometimes you don't realize how blessed you are at a young age.  Tonight I was reminded of just how blessed I am.

I have been very fortunate to have many wonderful people as role models throughout my life-even when I didn't realize it.  As I stood talking with three of my four trumpet teachers tonight, I realized that I've had some amazing teachers. I realized that I have the ability to be an amazing trumpet player and musician...

I've been very blessed that for the 10 years that I have played trumpet, I have also been able to take private lessons.  I never realized how lucky I was to be able to study privately until I went to college..My parents provided me with the tools to become successful...but I didn't take advantage..I did what it took to get by."

My, oh, my.  How true these thoughts are still today. I have really been thinking about the last line: "I did what it took to get by."  Sometimes life gets stressful, and we aren't able to practice like we want to...but if we have a sense of control in our life, then does life have to pan out this way??? I think this statement applies to how I have approached things the past few weeks..I did the minimum of what needed to be done, just to survive and get by. But I'm not happy with 'just getting by'...so I need to remember this as I finish out the semester.

In regards to the statement mentioned above, I started thinking about how one of my teachers would remind me that even though I did what it took to get by, I always put in the work when it was needed...I mean, I guess that's good in a way..but why would I want to be average...because as another teacher once told me: the world would be boring if everyone was average/normal.

The last two weeks before break were extremely busy, but also very motivating.  Motivating in the sense that I have been super excited about music therapy...but then, in-turn, I have pushed the trumpet more to the side..and I don't like that fact..because both music therapy and the trumpet are important to me. These two things make me who I am. I know that I don't want to be great at one or the other...I'm an over-achiever, and I want to be great at both..

The problem with wanting to be great at both is that I have to find a balance between the two..but to be honest, I don't think that I will ever fully have the 'balance' of the two figured out. In a way, this is what keeps me intrigued, interested, and motivated. But in another way, this is what makes me frustrated and want to quit...

SO, here's to me continuing my adventure of attempting to find a balance between the things that I love. I want to say thank you to everyone who has supported me and continues to support me as I follow my dreams. I couldn't do it without all of you.

"The Title Doesn't Matter"

"A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the equality of his actions and the integrity of his intent." ~Douglas MacArthur

One of the sessions that I attended at the AMTA National Conference was on leadership and how to find your voice as a student and young professional. I chose this session because it sounded interesting...but if you know me, you are probably thinking something like "Why would she go to that? She doesn't have any problems being a leader or expressing her views." 

The reality is that even though I am a true extrovert, there are still times when I struggle with being a leader. It isn't always easy being the one who takes charge and puts in the countless hours of work without being recognized. That's why I went to this session..because lately I had been feeling overwhelmed and felt that I could have been doing a better job as a leader.

One of the biggest things that stuck out to me during the session was that "the title doesn't matter." This really stuck out to me because it was a reminder that you don't have to have a title in order to be a leader. As a music therapist, by showing up to a session and taking charge, you are being a leader.  By coming to class prepared and on time, you are being a leader. By attending you music therapy student organization meeting, you are being a leader...because it shows that you care. 

Often times the 'leaders' who get recognized are the ones who have the big title and are in charge of things...but we have to remember that a lot of the times the true leaders are the ones who show up day-in and day-out without being recognized. 

At the end of the session, the presenters shared quotes about leadership. The attendees shared which ones stuck out to them and why. Here is the quote that stood out to me:

Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower. ~Steve Jobs

This quotes was a reminder that if you are going to be a great leader, no matter your title, you have to be innovative.  We live in an ever-changing world, and we have to adapt. What worked 20 years-ago may not work today...and what worked 2 years-ago might not work today. As leaders, we have to be willing to adapt. The adaptations that have to be made may not be what you as the leader think should happen, but it is about adapting for the betterment of your group or followers.

Suffering and Offering

Suffering: the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship. In faith, we often talk about suffering. When we talk about suffering, we also talk about offering.

Last night and this morning, I was really thinking about my late friend Zak. I couldn't stop thinking of him. I tried everything, but he kept coming back to my mind. As I was getting ready to attend a retreat at the WIU Newman Center that was being hosted by students from the Bradley Newman this morning, I really thought about Zak. I knew that he was on my mind because the students were coming from Bradley, and this is where he had attended school. While I was doing my hair, I couldn't help but replay in my mind the week of when he was killed.

During our lunch, I began talking to a few of the girls from the Bradley Newman. It just so happened that one of them was involved in music. She shared that she didn't personally know him, but that she knew of him. She continued on to say that people she knows spoke very highly of him. I smiled, but on the inside, my heart was glowing with pride and aching with sadness all at the same time.

A student shared about her journey with God, and how suffering played a big part in that journey. Following her talk, we broke into small groups to discuss. When I thought about suffering in my life during the past year, the first thing that came to mind was death. Death...because my family lost so many friends in a few months. Death....because after a few months of things returning to 'normal,' my family lost another important friend.

It took me a minute to put my thoughts together and gather the courage to share, but I eventually shared with my group what I had experienced. That month that my family lost so many people, it was awful. My heart ached every day. I shared my experience of not knowing how I was going to make it through finals week, because all I wanted to do was go home and be with my family. I shared that those two days when I finally got home were some of the toughest days of my life. But through those toughest days, I knew that the only way to get through it was by turning to God. I knew that in order to survive, I had to give an offering to God. I offered to God my talents, so that they would be used to bring peace, comfort, and healing to those who were grieving, including myself. I shared that playing for Zak's funeral was one of the toughest and most high pressure situations I have ever had..but that I knew the moment I offered it to God was the moment that everything would be fine. I knew that as long as I was playing for Him, I had nothing to worry about.  When I finished sharing, tears were in my eyes. I realized that this was the first time that I had shared with a 'stranger' about my experience of loss and grief. This wasn't an easy step, but I know that God placed me there for a reason.

Through this suffering and offering, I continued to grow closer to God. The months to follow weren't and still aren't easy. There are days when it feels like I am on top of the world..and there are days when it feels like I am drowning. The most important thing is that I know that God will be with me through each of these days. That He will provide comfort and healing.

2 Corinthians 1: 3-4

#buildingconfidence

I am generally not a person who lacks confidence. (I mean, I am a trumpet player after all!) But wait..is this view of having a strong sense of confidence the view that I have of myself or the view that others have of me?

During a conversation with a few friends the other week, my friends shared that I "always seem to be confident and have life together." WOW! What a compliment. However, I quickly shared with them that I don't always feel this way, even when it seems that I do feel this way.

As I prepared for the new week..I needed some motivation. I was preparing for my first solo music therapy session, a lesson, and the many realities of adulthood. 

When I thought about all of these things, I realized that while I am confident in the various activities in my life, such as music and my faith, I'm not confident in the whole picture...I'm only confident in certain details. 

When I think about my skills as a music therapist, I was reminded that the times where I don't feel successful are the times when I'm not confident. Those times when I messed-up a song or intervention during co-leading last semester...those were because I lacked faith and didn't have confidence in myself. 

I quickly realized that this applied to the trumpet, too. If I've prepared something all semester..then I will be confident when I play it at my jury. But if I lack the confidence needed to be successful at an area of my playing, such as lip flexibility, then how can I be confident as a whole musician? Shouldn't the goal be to pick up the horn and have the confidence to play whatever is put in front of you? 

When I thought about these things, one word kept coming back: CONFIDENCE

I decided I needed a motto for the semester...so that's where #buildingconfidence comes from!

My goal for the semester is to start building confidence in the areas that I feel I am the weakest. This is one of the hardest things to do in life...I mean, who wants to confront the things they are bad at???

Here's to a successful semester and setting my self up for success! 

Catholic+Education

Going off to college was the first time in my education career that I wasn't attending a Catholic school. However, this didn't stop me from attending Mass at the Newman Center on campus. The thing was, I had grown so much in my faith during my senior year of high school. Once I came to college, that relationship was still there...but it was stagnate, it wasn't going anywhere.

Along came my sophomore year of college, and it was the same situation. But on the first Sunday of school, I got on the elevator and rode down with this girl. We proceeded to get off the elevator and head to the parking lot. We finally struck up a conversation and figured out that we were both headed to the Newman. Later we find of that we are both music majors, and that she is from the same town as my grandma. I know God had a plan when He placed us on that elevator together, because this amazing friend continues to encourage me to attend mass weekly, and to grow in my faith.

SO, here we are three weeks in to my junior year of college. How is my faith? Well, let's just say that over the past few months, my faith has continued to grow. The past eight months have taught me to trust in Him more than I ever knew was possible.

When I arrived at school this year, I knew that God had a continued plan for me. His plan for me over the past three weeks wasn't necessarily what I had planned in some ways, but the important thing is that it is His plan for ME!

One of my favorite moments is that on the one year anniversary of meeting my amazing friend, I was standing at Mass at the Newman, after taking a step out of my comfort zone, singing in the choir with this friend.

There's more! This semester, I am taking the first semester of music history. As we have began to talk about the music of the mass, it's like things are clicking. The mass makes so much more sense when you understand the history of the music, and how it got to where it is today. And I'm really excited to be doing my research paper on a topic that relates to the music of the mass during the Baroque! (More on that later in the semester!)

God has created a unique plan just for me. I mean, isn't it exciting that the guy who will love me unconditionally for my entire life has created something so amazing just for me?!?!

As you can see, I'm really excited that God is using my love of music to help me grow in my faith. So thank you, God, for creating this amazing plan for me! I am so thankful for you, and I am truly living my life for you!

~Romans 8:28~