"The Title Doesn't Matter"

"A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the equality of his actions and the integrity of his intent." ~Douglas MacArthur

One of the sessions that I attended at the AMTA National Conference was on leadership and how to find your voice as a student and young professional. I chose this session because it sounded interesting...but if you know me, you are probably thinking something like "Why would she go to that? She doesn't have any problems being a leader or expressing her views." 

The reality is that even though I am a true extrovert, there are still times when I struggle with being a leader. It isn't always easy being the one who takes charge and puts in the countless hours of work without being recognized. That's why I went to this session..because lately I had been feeling overwhelmed and felt that I could have been doing a better job as a leader.

One of the biggest things that stuck out to me during the session was that "the title doesn't matter." This really stuck out to me because it was a reminder that you don't have to have a title in order to be a leader. As a music therapist, by showing up to a session and taking charge, you are being a leader.  By coming to class prepared and on time, you are being a leader. By attending you music therapy student organization meeting, you are being a leader...because it shows that you care. 

Often times the 'leaders' who get recognized are the ones who have the big title and are in charge of things...but we have to remember that a lot of the times the true leaders are the ones who show up day-in and day-out without being recognized. 

At the end of the session, the presenters shared quotes about leadership. The attendees shared which ones stuck out to them and why. Here is the quote that stood out to me:

Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower. ~Steve Jobs

This quotes was a reminder that if you are going to be a great leader, no matter your title, you have to be innovative.  We live in an ever-changing world, and we have to adapt. What worked 20 years-ago may not work today...and what worked 2 years-ago might not work today. As leaders, we have to be willing to adapt. The adaptations that have to be made may not be what you as the leader think should happen, but it is about adapting for the betterment of your group or followers.

Suffering and Offering

Suffering: the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship. In faith, we often talk about suffering. When we talk about suffering, we also talk about offering.

Last night and this morning, I was really thinking about my late friend Zak. I couldn't stop thinking of him. I tried everything, but he kept coming back to my mind. As I was getting ready to attend a retreat at the WIU Newman Center that was being hosted by students from the Bradley Newman this morning, I really thought about Zak. I knew that he was on my mind because the students were coming from Bradley, and this is where he had attended school. While I was doing my hair, I couldn't help but replay in my mind the week of when he was killed.

During our lunch, I began talking to a few of the girls from the Bradley Newman. It just so happened that one of them was involved in music. She shared that she didn't personally know him, but that she knew of him. She continued on to say that people she knows spoke very highly of him. I smiled, but on the inside, my heart was glowing with pride and aching with sadness all at the same time.

A student shared about her journey with God, and how suffering played a big part in that journey. Following her talk, we broke into small groups to discuss. When I thought about suffering in my life during the past year, the first thing that came to mind was death. Death...because my family lost so many friends in a few months. Death....because after a few months of things returning to 'normal,' my family lost another important friend.

It took me a minute to put my thoughts together and gather the courage to share, but I eventually shared with my group what I had experienced. That month that my family lost so many people, it was awful. My heart ached every day. I shared my experience of not knowing how I was going to make it through finals week, because all I wanted to do was go home and be with my family. I shared that those two days when I finally got home were some of the toughest days of my life. But through those toughest days, I knew that the only way to get through it was by turning to God. I knew that in order to survive, I had to give an offering to God. I offered to God my talents, so that they would be used to bring peace, comfort, and healing to those who were grieving, including myself. I shared that playing for Zak's funeral was one of the toughest and most high pressure situations I have ever had..but that I knew the moment I offered it to God was the moment that everything would be fine. I knew that as long as I was playing for Him, I had nothing to worry about.  When I finished sharing, tears were in my eyes. I realized that this was the first time that I had shared with a 'stranger' about my experience of loss and grief. This wasn't an easy step, but I know that God placed me there for a reason.

Through this suffering and offering, I continued to grow closer to God. The months to follow weren't and still aren't easy. There are days when it feels like I am on top of the world..and there are days when it feels like I am drowning. The most important thing is that I know that God will be with me through each of these days. That He will provide comfort and healing.

2 Corinthians 1: 3-4

#buildingconfidence

I am generally not a person who lacks confidence. (I mean, I am a trumpet player after all!) But wait..is this view of having a strong sense of confidence the view that I have of myself or the view that others have of me?

During a conversation with a few friends the other week, my friends shared that I "always seem to be confident and have life together." WOW! What a compliment. However, I quickly shared with them that I don't always feel this way, even when it seems that I do feel this way.

As I prepared for the new week..I needed some motivation. I was preparing for my first solo music therapy session, a lesson, and the many realities of adulthood. 

When I thought about all of these things, I realized that while I am confident in the various activities in my life, such as music and my faith, I'm not confident in the whole picture...I'm only confident in certain details. 

When I think about my skills as a music therapist, I was reminded that the times where I don't feel successful are the times when I'm not confident. Those times when I messed-up a song or intervention during co-leading last semester...those were because I lacked faith and didn't have confidence in myself. 

I quickly realized that this applied to the trumpet, too. If I've prepared something all semester..then I will be confident when I play it at my jury. But if I lack the confidence needed to be successful at an area of my playing, such as lip flexibility, then how can I be confident as a whole musician? Shouldn't the goal be to pick up the horn and have the confidence to play whatever is put in front of you? 

When I thought about these things, one word kept coming back: CONFIDENCE

I decided I needed a motto for the semester...so that's where #buildingconfidence comes from!

My goal for the semester is to start building confidence in the areas that I feel I am the weakest. This is one of the hardest things to do in life...I mean, who wants to confront the things they are bad at???

Here's to a successful semester and setting my self up for success! 

Catholic+Education

Going off to college was the first time in my education career that I wasn't attending a Catholic school. However, this didn't stop me from attending Mass at the Newman Center on campus. The thing was, I had grown so much in my faith during my senior year of high school. Once I came to college, that relationship was still there...but it was stagnate, it wasn't going anywhere.

Along came my sophomore year of college, and it was the same situation. But on the first Sunday of school, I got on the elevator and rode down with this girl. We proceeded to get off the elevator and head to the parking lot. We finally struck up a conversation and figured out that we were both headed to the Newman. Later we find of that we are both music majors, and that she is from the same town as my grandma. I know God had a plan when He placed us on that elevator together, because this amazing friend continues to encourage me to attend mass weekly, and to grow in my faith.

SO, here we are three weeks in to my junior year of college. How is my faith? Well, let's just say that over the past few months, my faith has continued to grow. The past eight months have taught me to trust in Him more than I ever knew was possible.

When I arrived at school this year, I knew that God had a continued plan for me. His plan for me over the past three weeks wasn't necessarily what I had planned in some ways, but the important thing is that it is His plan for ME!

One of my favorite moments is that on the one year anniversary of meeting my amazing friend, I was standing at Mass at the Newman, after taking a step out of my comfort zone, singing in the choir with this friend.

There's more! This semester, I am taking the first semester of music history. As we have began to talk about the music of the mass, it's like things are clicking. The mass makes so much more sense when you understand the history of the music, and how it got to where it is today. And I'm really excited to be doing my research paper on a topic that relates to the music of the mass during the Baroque! (More on that later in the semester!)

God has created a unique plan just for me. I mean, isn't it exciting that the guy who will love me unconditionally for my entire life has created something so amazing just for me?!?!

As you can see, I'm really excited that God is using my love of music to help me grow in my faith. So thank you, God, for creating this amazing plan for me! I am so thankful for you, and I am truly living my life for you!

~Romans 8:28~

A Slap in the Face

What's it like to get a slap in the face? I don't mean literally, but rather metaphorically.

Generally, when we think about getting a slap in the face, we think of it as a bad thing. But when I reflect on this past week, my "slap in the face" was honestly exactly what I needed.

I needed the reminder that I am here at school to become the best future MT-BC that I can be. That reminder that 20 years from now it won't matter whether I was in a certain ensemble or not..it will only matter about what I did as an individual...it's about how I handled myself in every situation and made the best out of every situation.

This week was a reminder that I am here on Earth to live out God's plan for me...rather than living out MY plan for ME...because there is a difference!

The thing is, it's so hard some days to accept God's plan. Sometimes God's plan is nothing like you had planned. But in the end, the only way to be truly happy in life is to follow God's plan. For many of us who are young adults away at school, this is the hardest thing to conquer. Even though we want to live out God's plan for us..there are those days when we get so busy and caught up in everyday life that we forget to spend time with Him.

As I prepare for the rest of the semester, I continue to pray that every single day I trust in God's plan for me. I also continue to pray that through His plan, I am able to share my faith journey with others and help them grow closer to Him.

I want to remind all of my family and friends to remember to trust in Him when the going gets tough...because in the end, He is the ruler of all. Remember that God has amazing plans for each us! He loves each and every single one of us, even on the darkest days.

Coffee & Prayer

As I prepare for year three of college, I pray that every day I wake up and give glory to God. I pray that my time spent with God doesn't wait until I'm going to bed. I pray that when I wake up and have my morning cup of coffee, that I will use that time to spend a few minutes with Him...that I will use that time to praise Him for allowing me to continue to live out His plan for me, which included me waking up that morning. I pray that God uses me in any way necessary to share His love and grace with others. I pray that He will provide me with safety and good health while I am away at school.

I pray that I will continue to be surrounded by family, friends, peers, mentors, and professors who know and love God...that my friends continue to push me to have the best relationship with God that I can have...that my friends give me that little nudge to go to mass even when I don't feel like it..

I pray that every time I make music, I thank Him for the amazing gift that He has given me. I pray that God continues to put me in situations where I am able share my passion for Him through the gift of music.

I pray that every single day, I am able to use my gifts to share His love with others. I pray that God has a plan for me...and I pray that I continue to accept and trust that plan, because sometimes it isn't easy or what I thought was going to happen.

So for all of my family and friends out there who are reading this, remember that we were created by an amazing God. Remember to trust Him and His plan.

Three

The number three is a significant number in many ways, and also happens to be my favorite number.

In Christianity, the number three represents the Trinity: the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. In the Bible, the number three is used approximately 467 times. In math, three is believed to be the first "true number." It is also the first number to form a geometric shape. The number three also represents time: birth-life-death, past-present-future, and beginning-middle-end. Three is also found in the Noble Peace Prize medals, on which are engraved three men. And of course, there are the three leaf clovers known as Shamrocks.

As I reflected on life during a car ride the other week, I was reminded that there are three main things that have remained throughout my life: music, ESA, and humility.

If you know me, you know that those three things I listed above are an essential part of my every-day life. But when I began to think about those three things, I realized that there were three other things that I have in life: Faith, Family, and Friends. Without my faith, family, and friends, I wouldn't have music, ESA, or humility.

My Faith comes first in those three things, because without God, I would have nothing. Without Faith, my family wouldn't be the same. Without Faith, I would not understand my purpose here on Earth...nor would I understand the importance of humility and helping others. My Faith provides me with the strength to follow my dreams and overcome the many hurdles in life. My Faith has provided me with friendships I never dreamed of. Because of my Faith, I have been able to help others know God. My Faith has taught me that I have many talents, some of which I am just beginning to know.

My Family is second, because without my family, I would not be here. My parents and my sister are my lifeline(s). My family provides me with so much love, support, and encouragement. My mom and dad are my biggest fans, and have given up so much of their life to provide for my sister and I. My sister has been my best friend since the day I was born. Although we argue and fight sometimes, we always come out stronger. My cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents are supportive, even from hundreds of miles away when we can't see each other for months at a time.

My Friends are third, because without my Faith and Family, I wouldn't have my friends. Many of my friends are practically my family. My friends are young and old. I have friends who live a mile from me, and friends who live thousands of miles away. My friends provide me with the extra support and love to push through the tough days. My friends teach me so many lessons about how I can become a better person. My friends are the ones I go to when I need a little break from my family.

As you can see, the number three is very important to me.

To end, here is Psalm 33: 1-5 (New Living Translation):

Let the godly sing for joy to the LORD;

it is fitting for the pure to praise him.

Praise the LORD with melodies on the lyre;

make music for him on the ten-stringed harp.

Sing a new song of praise to him;

play skillfully on the harp, and sing with joy.

For the word of the LORD holds true,

and we can trust everything he does.

He loves whatever is just and good;

the unfailing love of the LORD fills the earth.