Make Music For Yourself

Why do you make music? Do you do it for yourself or for others? 

Why do you want to study music? Is it what you want to do with your life, or is it what others expect you to do with your life?

As I stood talking with my dad and two family friends today during a music event, this question ran through my mind.  It ran through my mind because one of those people that I was standing there with is the same person that asked me those questions as a junior in high school.

When he asked me if I was playing trumpet because I wanted to or because my parents wanted me to, I didn't know how to respond, as I had never really thought about it before.  It really made me think about if pursuing music was really what I wanted to do or if it was just something that I was going to pursue because everyone told me I would be good at it.

 I'll never forget the advice he gave me that day: "If you want to study music, then do it.  If you don't want to study music, then don't do it.  Don't do something because other people want you to.  Do the things that you want to do for yourself.  Make music for yourself.  Play the trumpet for yourself.  Study music because that's what you want to do with your life."

During the car ride home that day, I remember telling my parents how he asked me those questions, and telling them that I wanted to play trumpet for myself, not just because I was "supposed to." I'll never forget the way that my parents blankly stared at me and said: "We don't want you to do anything that you don't want to do. This is your life."

That day will forever hold a place in my heart, because it changed my outlook on life.  It changed the reason that I was playing trumpet and making music.  It gave me the power to feel like I was in control of my life, especially when it came to music.

It wasn't until after that conversation that I truly started to consider studying music in college for myself...because I wanted to!  Who knew that a small conversation would lead me to where I am at today..pursuing music therapy because I want to.

I was once again reminded of why I am studying music and why I love making music today as I stood talking with these people.  It's people like these that have influenced me to want to study/pursue a career in music for myself.

I am forever grateful to all of my role models, mentors, teachers, friends, and colleagues in music who have supported me and continue to support me on my musical journey of making music for myself.

Prayer, Fasting, and Alms Giving

In the church, it is the season on Lent.  A season of repentance.  A season of preparing for the Resurrection of the Lord. A time when we reflect on our lives.

In the Catholic Church, Lent is a time for prayer, fasting, and alms giving.  As I've gotten older, the meanings of these words have changed.  

As a child, Lent is the time when you give up chocolate, soda, saying mean things, etc....but does giving up chocolate really help you to grow closer to God? 

Lent is a time, where through prayer, we can grow deeper in our relationship with Christ.  It's a time when we can give back and do our part.  It is a time where we can eliminate something negative in our lives that is holding us back in our relationship with God.

Lent is a time when the Church encourages you to repent for your sins.  The Church "requires" you to go to Confession once a year, and you will often hear priests encourage members to go during this time of repentance.  Confession is an idea that I have struggled with understanding for many years, and each Lent, the idea of Confession tugs at my heart.  I struggle with the concept of having to tell a priest my sins in order to be forgiven because I have many friends who aren't Catholic that have sinned and been forgiven...so why do I need to tell a priest my sins to be forgiven? 

As I prepared for this season of Lent and began praying about what my Lenten promise would be, I really began to think about the idea of Confession.  It has constantly been on my mind..do I go or do I not go? If I really needed to go to Confession, wouldn't God have already taken me through that journey? Why would He keep testing my faith with the idea of Confession?

But as I began praying about this idea, I realized that this was the most I had thought about this idea in a long time.  Here I am, a young adult who attends church nearly every weekend, and yet I feel conflicted because I struggle with the idea of Confession.  

I was reminded that when you give yourself to God, He will not lead you astray.  He will lead you exactly where you are supposed to go. He will take you on the amazing journey that He has created for you.  So I encourage all my family and friends who are struggling with something in their faith to pray.  Tell God what you are struggling with, because He wants to help you. 

"If you want to know what God wants you to do-ask him, and He will gladly tell you." James 1:5