My Big Sister

This is an open letter to my amazing big sister who has known me since day one!

When we were younger, we fought together, laughed together, cried together, and played anything and everything together.  There were times when our parents couldn't keep us a part, and there were plenty of times when our parents couldn't get us to be near each other.  But no matter what, we have remained best friends for over 20 years.

The dynamics of our relationship have changed over the years, and they will continue to do so as we grow older.  Through all of these changes, you have taught me so many things!

*You have helped me to understand what it means to trust in the Lord, especially through the hard times.

*You taught me how to be a student.

*We share secrets that I don't even tell my best friends about.

*We know exactly what "the look" means. (And there are multiple "looks")

*We have codes for our inside jokes.

*You inspire me to be the best person that I can be.

*You taught me how to play sports-even though I was never very good.

*You helped me to understand football...but let's face it-there are still things about that game that I don't understand.

*You showed me how to find my passion for helping others.

*You showed me how to be a leader.

*You showed me how to be a great friend.

*You taught me how to cook and bake..even when I didn't help you clean up!

*You taught me to make the best of every moment.

* You dealt with all of mom and dad's hard rules, so I didn't have to.

*You have shown me how to conquer the biggest life obstacles.

*You have accepted me for the crazy person that I am.

*You have put my head on straight.

You are a constant reminder that I always have a supporter.

I could go on and on about my sister..but I just want to say THANK YOU for everything. The countless memories, both good and bad. I love you to the moon and back. 

How has your semester been?

The other day, someone asked me how the semester was going.  Before I answered, I paused for a moment.  I told them the truth.  I shared that this has been an exciting semester but also a very tough semester.

This semester I have been faced with many different challenges such as preparing for a recital, dealing with loss, and co-leading music therapy sessions once a week. This semester has also been a reminder to take advantage of the opportunities placed in front of you, because you never know if they will come up again.

While I am extremely proud of how far I have come as a person, musician, and music therapist this semester, I would be lying if I said the semester went swimmingly.  There were days when I loved my life and didn't want the day to end..but there were also times when the day couldn't end soon enough..days where all I could do was go to my room and put on a sad movie so that I had an excuse to cry.

This semester has taught be how to balance.  By this, I mean that I have learned to balance school vs social life, practicing vs other homework, practicing trumpet vs practicing music therapy, balancing my faith with my everyday life, and balancing my emotional needs with the stress of being a college student.

This semester has been a reminder that you can't go through life by yourself.  It has been a reminder to share with my friends and family how I am feeling/what I am thinking..because sometimes you have to let it out instead of bottling it all up inside.  It's been a reminder that sometimes you just need to take a night off from practicing and spend it with those you love.

Each day I have made it a point to remind myself of how lucky I am to be here on Earth.  I remind myself that hard work really does pay off.  I remind myself that those tough moments when I want to quit are where I need to push through because in the end, it will make me stronger person.

Each day brings new emotions.  With these emotions come old and new memories.  With these memories comes a reminder of how blessed I am to have such a wonderful support system, the ability to study at an institution of higher education, and the gift of helping others through music.

God didn't bring you this far to leave you.
-Philippians 1:6

Zak

One moment everything was perfectly normal.

Then the all of a sudden, the world came crashing down.

Hearts broken, bodies aching.

Plans broken, dreams shattered.

This wasn't what anyone had planned. 

Why you? Why now?

Loved ones yearned for answers, but none were found.  

As each day passed by, hearts continued to search for answers.
But still, none were found.

We put our trust in God,
Trusting that this was somehow just a part of His big plan.

We paid our respects and laid you down to rest.

It wasn't a good bye, but rather a see you later.

Now you are singing with the choir of angels,
Watching over us as we go about our lives.

Your smile shines down upon us, even on the darkest days.
Your humble words repeat through the minds of those who loved you.

Your legacy lives on in the  hearts of those you knew.
You will forever be a part of our lives.

You are our guardian angel.